weekend things

[ajva]

Saturday: went to Walthamstow market and finished my maths homework.
Sunday: did a bit of Italian and met new housemate Jess, who is cool.
Monday: had barbecue. Cunningly did not start drinking until about 9pm, so although I did get a bit drunk it wasn't too much, and I didn't have a hangover the following morning. I got my monkey, too. I have also decided that I like the word "gazebo", because you can use it in so many contexts. What else? Oh yes - duranorak turns out to have a lovely singing voice, too...
Tuesday: got up and went into London to meet monarchist boyfriend Stef, who was a bit late as he had had his panier bags searched twice by vigilant policemen. I felt rather uncomfortable seeing loads of people walking past with Union flags, and little children dressed up in union-flag dresses and T-shirts etc. We wandered round, saw a giant screen which was transmitting Preacher Blair's speech in the Mansion House (nauseating stuff about "we love you ma'am, you have earned the people's affection through a half-century of selfless public service blah blah blah..."). Stef was hoping to see the Queen, but we spent too long in the pub and lost track of what was going on, so instead I indulged his royalist sympathies by standing around in Trafalgar Square with him for 50 mins or so until the fly-past happened. The poor thing was all emotional. Gracious. Still, I feel quite strongly that love means supporting your loved one's cherished hobbies, no matter how peculiar, as long as nobody gets hurt.

Important point: I refused to wave the flag he'd bought me, though. My ethics on this were, I think, consistent with the way I used to handle the "loyal toast" at formal dinners in Cambridge viz. I would stand up with the rest of the diners, but not raise the glass to my lips. I think this is a reasonable compromise between politesse and personal integrity. So nyah.

Comments

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Your ethical position is reasonable. At a Catholic funeral, I decided I would stand and sit when told to do so, but sit when asked to kneel. I was gratified to see that I was the only person in the room not kneeling the first time around, but that many others followed my example the second time. I thought of Asch's experiments on peer pressure - if even one stooge showed dissent from the group mind, the subject would be far more likely to vote with their own mind and resist conformity than if all the stooges conformed.

Did you and Em do a duet then? I haven't heard her sing yet, but I suspect her singing voice must be excellent...

[ajva.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes - well done there. Nice tale. :o)

Re: Em and I. Well, we were singing along to Queen rather loudly for some considerable time...

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

Well, it was there, and Queen is so much fun to harmonise to...~smile~
'Twas fun. Thank you. ~bounce~

E.
x

[ajva.livejournal.com]

Actually, the thought occurs that another good example of the Asch effect in action is coming out at work as X, Y or Z. I have generally found very little trouble coming out as anything, because I tend to use the Asch effect to my own advantage, I suppose. That is to say, people are less likely to make negative comments about whatever X,Y or Z is if I have already said that I am X, Y or Z, because the group opinion is not necessarily with them anymore. I don't just mean things like BDSM and poly, btw - I'm even talking about simpler things. Very often people have told me tales of how such-and-such a wanker said such-and-such an idiotic thing at work, and everybody agreed/nobody disagreed, and then they went off feeling all guilty because they didn't say anything either (this comment is not aimed at one person in particular; it's a common experience most of us have had, myself included). Nobody can be expected to be a dissenter all the time, but I think it actually is very important to do it when you can. I mean, if some idiot makes a sexist/racist/fattist/whateverist comment/statement/joke/whatever, then it is actually quite important to say you found it offensive/completely disagreed (if you did, of course), because it's only through people actively doing that that attitudes gradually change - the Asch effect again, I suppose, because there comes a point where the dissenting voice becomes the mainstream voice, and the bigot becomes the dissenter and therefore less followed.

Just some rambling ponderings. Anyway - back to work! :o)