Shorts

[ajva]

Let me tell you about my Saturday.


It was a summery day (well, it was to a Scot like me), so when I was changing clothes to head over to Melford Road, I elected to wear a pair of shorts (David M had also chosen to wear shorts, so it wasn't just me). I was therefore wearing the following:

1 pair denim shorts (quite short, but not hotpants)
The flowery top potatoprint kindly donated to my wardrobe, a kind of gypsyish thing quite in keeping with the season's fashion, I understand.
socks and unglamorous boots
My leather coat.

Now, I had anticipated perhaps one or two sarky comments, but even I, resilient as I like to think of myself, was utterly floored by the intensity of the response my choice of dress got from random passers by. Here is a list:

1)I have just left Forest Drive East, turning into Fairlop Road. I am wolf-whistled. I have never found this particularly upsetting, and standard procedure is ignoring it, so I do.
2)Later, I have just left Melford Road, and I am about to turn into Leytonstone High Rd. A man across the road is with 2 pals of his, all of whom are getting into a van. The man shouts across (and I quote verbatim) "Excuse me! Any chance of a shag? I'd fuck you!". I chuckle dismissively and walk on.
3)At almost exactly the same time, I emerge onto Leytonstone High Road, where a gang of young boys (about 12-13 yrs old I'd say) are on bicycles. They all start making comments, much of which I can't make out but are things like "Oh my God! What the fuck are you wearing?!!". I ignore them, of course. They follow me. They circle round me as I walk up the road, continually throwing these comments. They cycle ahead, and then wait for me, and start teasing again each time I walk past. I am getting seriously fucked off. The next time I start walking past them, I shoot a dagger look at one of them as I walk past. I am pleased to notice he looks terrified. Shortly afterwards they tire and bugger off.
4) A bloke in a van in the traffic says he'll take me home.
5) I emerge from Canonbury station and make a short walk to the nearby shop. Two younger lads (about 9?) are pissing about on a bike. They stare. One asks if I am cold. I explain that, on the contrary, I am feeling pleasantly warm, thank you. I enter the shop and buy stuff.
6) As I exit the shop the same young man bluntly observes "you've got fat legs". I am getting really really fucked off and can only manage "Thank you. You have a stupid brain." before flouncing off.
7) Nearly at Stef's by now. His house is only 5 mins walk from Canonbury station, so I am hoping that I can finally relax. No such luck. A bunch of teenage girls are doing the traditional standing around on street corners thing. They start sniggering as I approach, but I have already started crossing to the other side of the road, so it is too late to change my mind and deliberately walk past them. Which I begin to wish I had done, as comments such as "Oh my God! Look at her legs!"(guffaw) drift across me. One particularly noisome young specimen yells out at me that I have legs like a turkey and does a particularly bad turkey dance at me. I briefly consider crossing the road and showing her what my kickboxing legs can do, but then remember the "I shall never attack first in thought or in deed" pledge I made when I signed my licence, and merely wish I was packing a gun. Instead, I wink at her and move on.

What the fuck? Am I really going to have this much shit whenever I wear shorts? Jesus fucking H.

Comments

crap

[sanjibabes.livejournal.com]

Shit when that happens. I can't put up with it which is one of the reasons I don't wear shorts anymore.

You have my sympathy and I fully understand your anger!

:-(

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

Hear, and indeed hear. ~shakes head~ There are such complete fucking idiots in the world.
Of course ignoring them is the best thing, but should you ever wish for my services as an imbecile-destroyer, they are yours.
Ach. ~hugs~ Much sympathy. Has happened to me, often.

E.
x

[the-maenad.livejournal.com]

I think Londoners are getting ruder, I really do.

I shall now stand aside to allow the inevitable stream of comments telling you that your legs are sexy. (I shall demur on the grounds that I can't remember seeing a clear view of them).

[jhg.livejournal.com]

[confused]

You've worn many revealing outfits out and about in my company, and you've never got gip like that before.

Saddo Saturday, perhaps?


J

[ajva.livejournal.com]

Comments like that are only made to women on their own. It's a jungle out there, apparently.

[adjectivemarcus.livejournal.com]

*stunned*

Sounds horrible. People are morons. You are sexy.

We have better things to do than spend evenings standing about on street corners watching the lights change colour - anyone who can't think of a better way to pass their time isn't worth knowing the opinion of.

Alternatively shoot them with a machete. (The threat I sometimes received from a work colleague at Swinton who dwelled on the same rung as these people)

[djm4]

Fuck.

Mind you, I had three schoolkids shouting 'queer', 'poofter' and 'smells of shit' at me on Leytonstone High Road station this morning, presumably because I was wearing red velvet. Lot of arseholes around all of a sudden, aren't there?

[purplerabbits.livejournal.com]

I briefly consider crossing the road and showing her what my kickboxing legs can do, but then remember the "I shall never attack first in thought or in deed" pledge I made when I signed my licence, and merely wish I was packing a gun.

*grin* I believe they also make you sign something about not shooting random fuckwits on the street when you get a gun. Pity.

I've had this sort of thing too, and I'm always particularly struck by the ones who helpfully point out "You've got big/fat/hairy tits/arse/legs". I always feel like going "Omigod, I never noticed before!"

[adjectivemarcus.livejournal.com]

*blinks* You have big fat hairy tits? I hadn't noticed either!

*runs*

[purplerabbits.livejournal.com]

Only when I wear the chest wig...

[adjectivemarcus.livejournal.com]

I'm now imagining you dressed as David Copperfield (the 80s comic, not the magician) dressed as Medallion Man.

Ow. Bad brain! *whack* No biscuit!

[potatoprint.livejournal.com]

Argh! I fucking hate this. It happens a lot with gangs of kids whoare on my bus on the way home.

There are weeks when it doesn't seem to matter what I wear, I'll get abuse.

FWIW, it soundslike a shit-hot outfit, so feck them all.

[djm4]

I saw the outfit in question; it was indeed shit-hot.

[barking-watcher.livejournal.com]

I briefly consider crossing the road and showing her what my kickboxing legs can do, but then remember the "I shall never attack first in thought or in deed" pledge I made when I signed my licence

You've shown more restraint than I've ever done when people have started to have-a-go at me in the streets. I usually lose all self control and start swearing and making idle threats (such as kicking their heads in. NB The most damage I could do is with a vicious hair pulling.)

I really sympathize with you and hope the bastards learn some respect.

[ellbie.livejournal.com]

It is probably lucky that I do not have the power to make people's heads explode merely by wanting it, as there would be quite a few corpses of rude strangers littered in my wake.

I always want to launch into a speech telling them everything which is wrong with them, but do not because a) it would take a very long time, and they probably wouldn't listen to the end of it, b) I get so angry I probably wouldn't be able to get all the words out incoherently, and c) it would probably end in a slanging match and I don't think I'm really nasty enough to win.

When I was little my parents taught me to be polite to strangers, and never to make fun of people even if I thought they looked weird or superficially unattractive. Were my parents peculiar - do most not bother?

[the-maenad.livejournal.com]

These days, probably not.

All of a sudden I feel both old and old-fashioned.

[jhg.livejournal.com]

Certainly my own parents, and all my mates' parents, and all our schools and teachers advocated this kind and self-preserving philosophy.


J

[elfgeek.livejournal.com]

If it's some consolation, you're not the first person to be accosted on Melford Road and Leytonstone High Rd. I once had the doubtful pleasure of being wolf-whistled/approached for a shag by some of our revered Melford Rd. neighbours. My 'crime' was to be wearing a short leather jacket, being dressed entirely in black and probably having short hair as well - it was 11 in the morning. Go figure.

[fayster.livejournal.com]

some people are totally and utterly rude. as for the kids....obviously their parents are a bit lacking. i am betting that you looked pretty hot and i would have told you so....though without the wolf whistles or rude comments.

[ergotia.livejournal.com]

1 You have beautiful sexy legs, as you know

2 IMHO nobody looks good in shorts ( although *of course* you can wear whatever you like and *of course* rude comments deserve castration)

3 Stop blaming the parents, all of you obviously childless lot! Kids in packs do things their parents would abhor! this sort of behaviour is plain stupidity, against which the gods themselves contend in vain

Spiky today but love you all

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[the-maenad.livejournal.com]

Point (from an admirable parent) taken.

As one who never ran in packs at that age, I should be mindful of this.

[ellbie.livejournal.com]

I will freely confess that I was never part of a pack either.

Probably just as well.

[potatoprint.livejournal.com]

My pack was made up of the odds and sods left over from the cool packs.

We didn't terrorise anyone, cos they were all too busy throwing things at us and caling us goths/queers/moles/hippies/freaks/mentallists etc.

Ah, happy days!